Monday, December 12, 2005

NEWS FLASH

IN A STUNNING MOVE MADE IN WASHINGTON, D.C., IT IS NOW OKAY FOR ONE TO DETERMINE FOR ONESELF THE GOOD AND BAD THAT A POLITICAL CANDIDATE. THOUGHT TO BE DEAD, CRITICAL THINKING IS NOW RECOMMENDED BY THE RULING CLASS AND THEIR LOBBYISTS IN THE NATION'S CAPITAL. SOME POLITICIANS SUCH AS REP. TOM DELAY OF TEXAS SAID "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT HOW THEY (THE CONSTITUENTS OF THE 22ND DISTRICT) VOTE, I'M STILL FIXIN' TO WIN NEXT YEAR. SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL VOTE FOR ME. CRITICAL THINKING IS FOR ME TO DO, NOT THE PEOPLE OF TEXAS OR AMERICA FOR THAT MATTER." DEMOCRATIC SENATOR HILLARY "RODMAN" CLINTON OFFERED "I THINK CRITICAL THINKING IS GREAT, AS LONG AS YOU LEAVE IT TO THOSE WHO HAVE MORE EDUCATION AND POLITICAL MOXY. WE DON'T WANT THE COMMON PEOPLE TO GET HEADACHES FROM THINKING TO HARD." THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SAID, "THIS IS A REPUBLIC. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS THAT VOTERS VOTE FOR WHO THEY WANT TO MAKE THE DESCISIONS FOR THE COUNTRY. SO THEY DON'T NEED TO BE CRITICAL THINKING OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU CALL IT. WE DO IT FOR 'EM." THE REALIABLE SOURCE BELEIVES THAT IS IF AMERICANS TRULY WERE TO BECOME A NATION OF OBJECT CRITICAL THINKERS, TWO THINGS WOULD HAPPEN:

1. THERE WOULD BE NO MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEES.

2. THE NATION AS WE KNOW IF WOULD SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST.



D.A. PRESS

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